Your entry way, most days, smells like cow manure…

You have designated coats, hats, and shoes for “chores” and “town”…

You have 4 legged critters showing up at all hours of the day…

Your new alarm clock entails the jake breaks on a semi….

You are “asked” (a.k.a. – told) to open gates and always when you’re in the middle of something important. (my husband has impeccable timing)…

You may have a baby calf in the tub, or in the garage, or in the back seat of a vehicle (why leather seats are essential to all farmers …lol)…

Your back sink looks like a cross between a pharmacy and a surgical unit..

You lose a shelf in the fridge to cattle drugs…

You are “on-call” 24/7 for possible escape critters- rounding up bucking bulls in the dark should be on that show, Dangerous Jobs!!!

You have delivered coffee, meals, snacks, and Bluetooth speakers to a field usually during spring, summer, and fall..

You have written bigger checks for “feed” than for “food”…

You can drive a stock trailer through town, (this does not mean you can back it up…haha)…

You’ve chased critters cross country more than once, and without a gun…

You know how to use a hotshot, load an ear tagger, administer vaccines to cattle, and know what the chain is used for during calving…

You know that when branding cattle and pouring on wormer at the same time results in a mandatory fire extinguisher near-by… ( no cattle were harmed, just some singed hair!)…

You have used Corona medicated ointment on your baby’s diaper rash…

You know that your husband has used corona on himself…tmi???……It was called corona YEARS before covid-19 came around…

The words “this is how it’s going to work” make you roll your eyes and prepare for the worst…

You have had multiple instances of lack of communication, usually over the number of head being purchased and brought home – (this is never an accident it’s always on purpose!!)…

Powdered milk and protein shakes will forever smell like milk replacer for baby calves..

You have no days off ….

You’ve been ask to come to the hay field to help look for a bolt……(needle/haystack vs. bolt/hayfield)..I seriously do not make this stuff up!!

You’ve learned NOT to volunteer and learn how to drive the tractor.

No raises, no promotions, no retirement in sight.

You may no longer need a baby sitter for the kids, but always looking for a someone for the horses, cows, bulls, and dogs…

If you are working and not getting paid….you might be a farm wife!

(I know there are many, many more ways….you might be a farm wife!)

 2-12-2021